McPie and the Woods

So again there is a gap in my writing, and I could give the excuse that I have been preoccupied with moving into my new house...oh yes, that's what I said....MY NEW HOUSE.....but that's not really why...I don't really like the way I have been writing lately and I have been trying to figure it all out.  I will talk about my NEW HOUSE for a moment....my roommate Shnookums and I have named this house...her name is Elgy and she is 100 years old and has kept in fantastic shape with very few surgeries I mean she doesn't look a day over 35.   Elgy is just lovely.  What Elgy is missing is Lady Shells, The Music Man, Biscuit and Donut but thankfully they are all very close...leaving them was so difficult I almost became a shut-in the last week I was there because I wanted to be that close while I could (I am only a mile away from them now and they have already been over to check the place out but it will be very different without seeing them everyday..I couldn't me more grateful to have them in my life).

Because I am still not sure what to focus on for this post I thought I would be a bit profound by posting some Stephen Sondheim lyrics that feel rather relevant to my life right now....If you don't know Into The Woods read this snippet and just think on it...

To be happy, and forever,
You must see your wish come true.
Don't be careful, don't be clever.
When you see your wish, pursue.
It's a dangerous endeavor,
But the only thing to do-

Though it's fearful,
Though it's deep, though it's dark,
And though you may lose your path,
Though you may encounter wolves,
You mustn't stop,
You mustn't swerve,
You mustn't ponder,
You have to act!
When you know your wish,
If you want your wish,
You can have your wish,-
No, to get your wish

You go into the woods,
Where nothing's clear,
Where witches, ghosts
And wolves appear.
Into the woods
And through the fear,
You have to take the journey.

Into the woods
And down the dell,
In vain, perhaps,
But who can tell?
Into the woods to lift the spell,
Into the woods to lose the longing,
Into the woods to have the child,
To wed the Prince,
To get the money,
to save the house,
To kill the Wolf,
To find the father,
To conquer the kingdom,
To have, to wed,
To get, to save,
To kill, to keep,
To go to the festival!

Into the woods,
Into the woods,
Into the woods,
Then out of the woods
And happy ever after! 

P.S.  Hot Body and Plus Size Model have a new baby step-brother who is literally five times their size..he is projected to be 90 lbs....his name is Lover...he is to die for...When Donut (she is 5) left this morning she said..Lover is my friend, Plus Size Model is my buddy, and Hot Body is my doggy...I just thought I'd share

P.P.S Also, I am excited about meeting all of Shnookums' friends, I met one yesterday and within 60 seconds of meeting him he told me he was black, Jewish and recently broke up with a Little Person....I can tell there are new adventures ahead..:-)

Will You Be My Mother McPie

I must talk about a wonderful family who have become as special to me as my own family.  Lady Shells and Mr. Music were given my number when their first daughter, Biscuit, was 6 months old as they needed a part-time sitter.   Here we are 8 years later, they have a 2nd daughter, Doughnut, who is 4 1/2.  I babysit whenever I can which is hardly ever these days, so mostly I just go over for dinner or to hang out whenever we can make it work.  I have only ever missed one of the girls' school performances or recitals and that can be blamed on the most awful traffic.  This family means the world to me and each one of them is a critical part of the development of McPie.

This brings me to the point of today's blog, last night we celebrated the 4th night of Hanukkah together, it was AMAZING!  The story begins after candle lighting, I was sitting on the couch with Mr. Music when Doughnut sauntered up and in the most adorable voice says "Lysa (lie-su) can I be your sweetie?" and as my heart melted I replied "you already are my sweetie" then Doughnut says "no Lysa, I want you to be my mom...". Mr. Music and I almost died trying to hold back the laughter that would inevitably offend the 4 year old.  Lady Shells is listening from the open kitchen and we all understood the innocence and sweetness of this.  When I McPie am there at the house, we all get so excited because we don't get to all be together as much as we used to so everyone is on their best behavior (including myself) and kids don't get in trouble as often and there is an additional adult in the room to watch their shows and help open their presents and so on.  Basically this interaction was perfect.  I constantly have this fear that if I go too long without seeing them (by too long I mean 2 weeks), the kids won't be as fond of me so to speak, so it's conversations like the one I had with Doughnut that remind me how bonded I am to these kids. 

The story continues but it skips forward about 30 minutes.  Everyone is still having a great time, Biscuit and Doughnut opened a couple presents each and then it was my turn to give the family a gift from Mr. McPie and me.  Biscuit turns to attention wearing her new purple gingham fedora and Doughnut walks a little closer to me so she is within arms reach.  I tell them that my gift is to give Lady Shells and Mr. Music a date night while Mr. McPie and I take Biscuit and Doughnut on a date of our own to a pizza place, then an ice cream shop then to either rent a movie or go to a movie.  Biscuit lights up, I mean she is going to have a grown-up night out, how awesome is that.  And just as I begin feeling like wow how totally successful is this gift, I turn to Doughnut whose bottom lip is jutting out as it swallows her upper lip, and her eyes scrunch together and the wailing begins.  "Oh my god Doughnut, what is wrong?" I say.  She replies "That's not the kind of present I wanted, I want a present I can touch." At this point, 4 year old fatigue hysteria begins.  I tell her how sad I am that she doesn't like my present and she is just heart broken about not having a present to open from me as she only got 2 presents tonight (as if that is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to her) when the other night she got hundreds of presents so she says.  I need to explain here that in no way have Lady Shells and Mr. Music spoiled their children, and had I not been there and this fit happened, there would have been a kibosh squash SOOOOO fast.  But I was there so I try to indulge a conversation and solution with my dear Doughnut as she is now sitting on my lap and crying on my shoulder.  I suggested that on our date night, I bring a present she can open, does she want a necklace? or a bracelet perhaps?  Through her tears, and without missing a beat, she tells me she wants a necklace....with lots of diamonds and a star....and then.....she screams again and the crying is in my ear and so so loud as she bawls "but I want my present right now wahhhhh".  At this moment, I look at her and I smile and if feels like time stops for a second and everything starts going forward again in slow motion, as the ONLY thing I am thinking about as she howls in my ear, is how it must feel when you have your own children as I can't fathom how anyone could possibly love a child more than I do my Biscuit and Doughnut.  Am I wrong to think that most people would be running for the hills in this moment?

p.s. I am aware the kid screaming thing isn't cute 99% of the time....