So today I am back home (well actually I got home last night but I was in too much a state of shock to write anything). I am staying with friends so close I consider them family and on top of that they are also letting Hot Body and Plus Size Model stay here as well. I picked up the pups today and it was like a scene out of a really bad movie where some children are kidnapped and their mother sobs about it for ages and does nothing but call people to see if they have heard anything while eating all the food her dear friends and neighbors have brought her because clearly the woman can't take care of herself while in such a distraught state and there are never any clues but occasional untraceable emails with photos of the kids sitting on current news papers until one day their is a knock on the door and its the children and the children cry and lick their mother uncontrollably while nibbling on her ears and running around in circles and returning to lick and nibble all over again and the whole time the mother just sits on the ground in shock and bawls; no one ever finds out where the children were and really who cares...it was a bad movie. Anyhow I have my girls back and the truth is it feels wonderful, weird, and awful at the same time.
The unconditional love you get from pets is unmatchable, its just a fact, but you must be capable of loving them unconditionally in return even though they won't ever have a normal conversation with you (and by normal, I mean they have very short attention spans, they only ever want to talk about food, walking, and cuddling....so annoying). Also, you have to be patient because you will often be covered in fur, barked at while on the phone, or awoken from a deep slumber so they can take a pee and/or poo. Now I am aware I am telling you nothing you don't already know but these are the things that are currently making me feel awful about having them back. Within five seconds of our reunion I was covered in dog hair and for the first time it annoyed the crap out of me, I have been dog hair free for five weeks and frankly, it was amazing. The fact is that I hardly have patience for myself right now, and having patience for them seems almost impossible, and taking it out on them is the last thing I want to do.
We have been cuddling all afternoon and it has been wonderful, I mean even as I sit here and blog, Plus Sized Model is curled up behind my butt (and by the way she has definitely gained weight, heifer) and Hot Body is sleeping on last night's pajamas as to make sure she can smell me in her slumber. Maybe this is a test for me to be patient once again. I have been incredibly impatient with myself and what I have been going through and maybe they are here to help me get that part of myself back. Unless they are here to distract me so that I can take care of them instead of myself...in which case I will start making empty threats towards them involving cats, skateboards and boot camp (I wanted to say fat camp but I thought that might be rude and single out one dog over the other)...
p.s. I was told that they were incredibly behaved while I was gone ................ and also they picked up a humping habit........really? ladies please!
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