Who Knows Why McPie

So right now I have nothing in particular to write about, I just feel like writing so I'm gonna.  I think I'm just  gonna write about some things I did this week and maybe a few thoughts I had (the clean ones and the happy ones, I will leave out the ones that involved an old Camp Counselor of mine, fists and a spicy yet delicious crab cake).  The first thing I need to do is give a Happy Birthday shout-out to Hot Body and Plus Size Model as they turned 5 this week and don't look a day older than 4......yet on an upsetting note they haven't started pulling their weight around here and I am thoroughly disappointed about that.....I will deal with those feelings another day......meow.

Well last night Mr. Junior and the Soon-To-Be Mrs. Junior (sometimes I get exhausted typing that) cooked for a few people and we did a wine tasting to try and help decide which wines we'd be consuming in belligerent amounts at their upcoming nuptials...well in having this wine tasting we planned for me to sleep at their place as we knew there would be a great deal of drink involved and frankly there was a great deal of drink involved and it was fantastic.  I let loose for the first time in quite some time and perhaps my mouth let loose as well but really there is nothing I wouldn't have said sober I just tell things so much more hilariously once I've got a case of the Vino (and by that I am not insinuating that we drank a CASE of vino....well...I mean there were six of us, we were very thirsty).  And then, even after all the intoxication, The Juniors and I made it to Lady Shells' yoga class this morning (well I was there, maybe I was in child's pose more than usual but I was there and if you want proof, find me tomorrow, I am sure I will be walking funny).

I thought quite a bit this week about picking your battles and I don't mean with other people necessarily.....I think it is critical to wisely pick the battles you have with yourself......well at least the battles I have with myself.  There are things worth giving a lot of thought and attention, and their are thoughts that just don't deserve it.  The fact is I am changing everything about my life right now (except for my amazing friends) and this is not easy....really every single part of it hurts...like really freakin' hurts (sometimes I swear I can feel it in my uncus).  Sometimes I am happy and fine and smiling is super easy, like when I saw my Dad and Step-Mom on skype today (I haven't seen them or heard their voices in a while as they have been in France for over a month now and will be for 6 more weeks) it made me so happy I smiled big the whole time.  But other times, I will get a thought in my head that just isn't worth the time of day and that's just it, I have to not indulge the thought and chant new thought new thought new thought (preferably not out loud, I happen to know people will look at you funny like you have a screw loose or something......not from experience though).  Who knows why our brains choose to think about unsettling things, but somehow we have to retrain our brains into compartmentalizing a little better.  All thoughts have their time and frankly I like to schedule those times myself....and one day I will be super awesome at it.

p.s. I know I said I was going to talk about things (plural) and thoughts (plural) and I didn't do that but really I just don't feel like going back and fixing my thesis paragraph right now because it's after ten p.m. which is clearly much later than I am usually awake cause I'm 90.

p.p.s. The link under the word yoga is for Mr. Junior who almost touched his toes this morning WOOHOO!!

McPie is a Joiner

So recently I have realized that I really need to step it up in my social life...my social life is not going to just boost itself so I have to take control of it....how does one lift a social life to the next level I have asked myself and I have realized two things.  The first is that it is a slow process and you must be patient and the second is that you need to tell people you are looking to be more socially active (watch out for just saying active, that might end you up inappropriately dressed on a ten mile hike) no matter how weird that seems.  What I do know is that I am not one to be like hey lets go to a bar because well there are people there and we can get drunk! (unless of course it is with Miami and the posse she claims she doesn't have).  But other than that, there isn't much I won't check out these days, I have decided to be a Joiner...I mean why not....I have always been a huge fan of organized camaraderie (I tried to start a knitting club once, I was the only one who showed up to the first two meetings...ya I canceled that club).

A friend of mine, The Stigma, and I had brunch a few weeks ago downtown and discussed how to inspire/force each other to be more active in our own lives and so far we have put some things on the books that we discussed as to hold each other accountable.  This week we are joining a 12 week meet-weekly-goals program for awesome-chicks-who-need-to-remind-themselves-how-awesome-they are (I imagine that at the very least, The Stigma and I will either feel very accomplished or turn into each others worst bully) AND we are going to cooking class (it's one of those classes where as soon as you are done with the knives they bust open the wine...stoked on this one)....I would say this is a darn good start and I'm not even done.  Mr. Junior and the Soon-To-Be Mrs. Junior and I have been taking a yoga class taught by Lady Shells every Sunday morning (Mr. Junior may not be able to touch his toes, but he does some mean frog pose I tell ya....mmmmrrrrrrribbiiiitttt) and there are other things I have been doing as well that I will keep secret...well just because I want to see if I can keep my own secret.

The thing is, I have always sort of stuck my nose up at any sort of regular organized group situation that had anything to do with bettering anything and the fact is that is probably a clear indication that I need it.  I want to be as secure by myself as I am in a room full of people.  I know how bass ackwards that sounds but it is true.  When I started this blog, my future seemed pretty clear to me and it isn't anymore....HOWEVER...that is just fine (most of the time)!  Even though it isn't always the most comfortable, I would rather join the world that is living around me, than shut myself away and do only the things I know are secure....because right now that isn't enough....and I don't think it ever should or will be.  If I was a dude, I would tell you that right now it is time for me to grow a pair.....too bad I'm not a dude.

p.s. I lied when I said there isn't much I won't check out...there are a lot of things I absolutely won't check out..... 1) Organized roller coaster fanatics 2) Swimming with sharks 3) Save the rain forests...too much discussion of bananas 4) The Young Republicans and 5) any sort of event where Mini-Me might show up (probably should have been #1)

Free Bird McPie

So it's done, with the help of Fro NoFro, Mr. Junior and Woof Woof, I am no longer a resident of this town, I won't go as far as to say it isn't home or anything, but I will say that I live nowhere right now.  I drove a 14' truck from U-haul to my now old apartment, to Fro NoFro's house, to the storage unit and back to U-haul all in a six hour period with Mr. Junior by my side the whole time (thanks Mrs. Junior for lending him to me, you scored!).  The ONLY thing that went wrong today was that the u-haul battery was dead when I got in it right after we packed the whole thing up (I say 'we', I don't mean 'we', I mean 'they'....although, my legs are all bruised and I can't explain it for the life of me).  Mr. Junior of course tried to jump start it with his luxury vehicle but the puppy was dead, so a AAA semi came, jumped us and we were off.  It was so smooth, the whole thing, I have moved a lot, but this was pretty good.

I was really freaking myself out thinking about how I would probably freak out as soon as we left the storage unit because that would be when all of this would feel real, I mean really real.  And I did freak out, well not really, I kinda just got worked up for a minute, cried for three minutes, and then I breathed and I realized that I was really ok with all of this, in fact I am really good with all of this, and then of course I got overwhelmed by the fact that I was ok and not freaking out, thinking that something must be wrong with me because I wasn't completely panicked and hysterical.  Well maybe less is wrong with me now that I am holding on to nothing, I am a free bird.  I do feel a bit too old to be this bird per-Se, but it is clearly the thing I need to be right now.

I said before that this town is still my home and I would like to discuss for a moment.  The famous saying that home is where the heart is is kind of a crock to me right now; I think 'home' is where your 'stuff' is....period.  Any of my parents might argue that 'home' is where your parents are but really that's just not feasible.  If 'home' is where the heart is, than I live all over the place........actually, I kinda do live all over the place, cause all over the place is kinda the same as nowhere, so maybe that wasn't the best example...I'll try this again.  If 'home' is where the heart is than I am lost...and the truth is, yes I have said I am lost  a lot lately but I am not, my heart is, but I am not (I am out there finding things; can't be lost if you can find things now can ya).  I know that I will be back here (in fact, I will be back so many times before I am actually back here that it is kinda crazy.....I'm like a jetsetter of sorts) everyone I love is here and frankly, this is where my 'stuff' is......see what I mean, home is where your stuff is I'm just putting that out there....

p.s.  Snoop, American Pie, Midge, Fres, Miami, Dishy, Karat, Fro NoFro, Mr. Junior, the soon-to-be Mrs. Junior and Woof Woof made this weekend so survivable for me.......I know they all have strange names but blame their parents..don't hold it against them.