A Whole New McPie

So I McPie am the same person I have always been but absolutely different in all the ways that don't matter one bit to you yet mean so much to me and my filled-with-opportunity-and-excitement future.  My life is wonderful (obnoxious), I am saying 'yes' to everything that I want (easy) and 'no' to so many things I never have before (shocking).  I am laughing....as much as possible......and I am angry....as little as possible.......sometimes more than others on both counts.  Fro NoFro and Karat got married and it proved to be nothing less than evolution for my family...the whole darn thing.....and it was monumental on so many levels, one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and I officially have my blond sister (I have been saying 'blond sister' for so long, old to some people, never to me...and shit, it's my blog).

Now what I really wanted to talk about is this amazingly hilarious and unbelievable thing that happened to me today that seemed the perfect way to start writing again.  So I went to the pharmacy today to pick up my crazy pills (I don't really categorize myself as crazy, nor do the pills make me crazy but somehow it seems that 'crazy pills' is a socially acceptable way of referring to the drugs that stop my anxious brain from blowing through my skull...I'm just saying).  I went to the pick-up counter with the one other item I had picked up on my journey and gave them my name so they could retrieve my prescription.  The pharmacist who I recognize from my monthly pickups looks at me and says "sorry, we don't have that in stock" and my reply was "oh yes you do, I called Friday and you said it would be ready today, then I called this morning and you said my crazy pills were ready for pick up".  The lovely pharmacist, clearly reacting to my tactical use of the term 'crazy pills', decides to go to the drop-off window computer and re-check.  She looks something up and then hollers across the room so that everyone can hear her, even in the section with Depends, "you are right we have them, do you mind if your 'CRAZY PILLS' are in capsule form?" (Her return tactics in shouting across the room to let me know I didn't scare her impressed me, this wasn't a pharmacist to mess with).  So we kept the 'crazy pill' talk going for an incredibly long ten minutes proving that not only do I own my anxiety issues but that she has no respect for them or my privacy...it was amazing...I loved it.  So I am finally ready to pay, I slip her my additional item and she holds it up and says "Can I get a price on this callous scraper?"...I almost died a little bit.........until it got even better....she hands me my bag of things-that-make-me-fabulous, doesn't let go, cocks her head to the side and says...."OMG, did you graduate Blah Blah High School in nineteen ninety blah?"....to which I had to answer "YES...and it was nice to see you too" and then I walked away and laughed really really really hard all the way home...

In hypothetical presumable conclusion, it is safe to say that there will be a large portion of my graduating class that will soon hear that I have gone bat-shit-crazy and have rough-skinned feet......life IS exciting and has a strange way of inspiring me to write again.

P.S. Bat-shit-crazy is an actual-for-reals term because apparently there is something in actual Bat poo that can make a person's brain go haywire.

P.P.S. Everyone puts out good thoughts for my friend OWL until I tell them they don't need to anymore k?

Fly McPie Fly

Tomorrow morning, bright and 6:00am early, Mr. McPie, my brother  Fro NoFro and my soon-to-be sister-in-law Carat will fly back East to see my entire family for turkey day.  Mr. McPie has only met my Mother, Fro NoFro and Carat to date.  So this week he will meet my Father, Step-Mom, Mr. Mom (Step-Father), older sister Stoop, little sister Booty, aunt, uncle, and a slew of cousins....needless to say it is a big week.

Now last weekend I met Mr. McPie's entire family and it was amazing, couldn't have gone better really so there is a lot for this week to live up to.   What will Stoop and Booty think of Mr. McPie?  What will Mr. McPie think of Stoop and Booty?  My Mother, Fro NoFro and Carat all adore him already and I know that both my Step-Mom and Mr. Mom will be wonderful as they are both incredibly social people, however, I have never introduced either of them, or my Father to anyone I ever called my boyfriend and more importantly my Mr. McPie (I did introduce my Dad to my boyfriend senior year of high school, that boyfriend is out of the closet now...no I am not trying to make a correlation).  As I am a girl, I do get more nervous about my Father meeting Mr. McPie than I would other people; my Dad is not an intimidating guy by any means, but he is my Father and firsts are always scary.

Look, I am 31 and when I am talking to my Dad and say "we stayed at Mr. McPie's place last night" for whatever reason, I get incredibly nervous and embarrassed...like OMG my dad knows that I stayed at Mr. McPie's place and he probably knows what we did there!  I'm telling you, I feel like a child.  My nerves are swimming around my stomach like little chickens.......oh mygoodness, do you see my point?  I know that chickens don't swim!  Mr. McPie said I have been acting like a crazy person all weekend (I assure you he was sweet as pie when he said it).  I have tried to explain to myself numerous times that there is nothing to be nervous about (which is mostly true) and that I, McPie am confusing all of the excitement with nervousness, but for some reason, my brain is confused (and yes I mean more-so than usual).

I do have to go get emotionally prepared to take Hot Body and Plus Sized Model to Wiwi's house, she and Mr. Wiwi are taking care of the dogs for the week with the help of their two pit-bulls, one of which only has 3 legs.  Mr. McPie asked "will the ladiesbe ok without us for a week?"  my response "no"....we are still dropping them off..........

p.s.  I have yet to ever drop the ladies off without crying 10 minutes later........daddy issues AND doggie issues......I'm so super screwed!