Fly McPie Fly

Tomorrow morning, bright and 6:00am early, Mr. McPie, my brother  Fro NoFro and my soon-to-be sister-in-law Carat will fly back East to see my entire family for turkey day.  Mr. McPie has only met my Mother, Fro NoFro and Carat to date.  So this week he will meet my Father, Step-Mom, Mr. Mom (Step-Father), older sister Stoop, little sister Booty, aunt, uncle, and a slew of cousins....needless to say it is a big week.

Now last weekend I met Mr. McPie's entire family and it was amazing, couldn't have gone better really so there is a lot for this week to live up to.   What will Stoop and Booty think of Mr. McPie?  What will Mr. McPie think of Stoop and Booty?  My Mother, Fro NoFro and Carat all adore him already and I know that both my Step-Mom and Mr. Mom will be wonderful as they are both incredibly social people, however, I have never introduced either of them, or my Father to anyone I ever called my boyfriend and more importantly my Mr. McPie (I did introduce my Dad to my boyfriend senior year of high school, that boyfriend is out of the closet now...no I am not trying to make a correlation).  As I am a girl, I do get more nervous about my Father meeting Mr. McPie than I would other people; my Dad is not an intimidating guy by any means, but he is my Father and firsts are always scary.

Look, I am 31 and when I am talking to my Dad and say "we stayed at Mr. McPie's place last night" for whatever reason, I get incredibly nervous and embarrassed...like OMG my dad knows that I stayed at Mr. McPie's place and he probably knows what we did there!  I'm telling you, I feel like a child.  My nerves are swimming around my stomach like little chickens.......oh mygoodness, do you see my point?  I know that chickens don't swim!  Mr. McPie said I have been acting like a crazy person all weekend (I assure you he was sweet as pie when he said it).  I have tried to explain to myself numerous times that there is nothing to be nervous about (which is mostly true) and that I, McPie am confusing all of the excitement with nervousness, but for some reason, my brain is confused (and yes I mean more-so than usual).

I do have to go get emotionally prepared to take Hot Body and Plus Sized Model to Wiwi's house, she and Mr. Wiwi are taking care of the dogs for the week with the help of their two pit-bulls, one of which only has 3 legs.  Mr. McPie asked "will the ladiesbe ok without us for a week?"  my response "no"....we are still dropping them off..........

p.s.  I have yet to ever drop the ladies off without crying 10 minutes later........daddy issues AND doggie issues......I'm so super screwed!

A Serious McPie

Mr. McPie and I just saw A SERIOUS MAN, i'm not sure that I will let on what I felt about it, but it made me think...shocking I know. I have said before how strange I think it is to feel both conceited and self conscious while blogging and then I watch a movie like this and I think of other things that people (I McPie) do that are just as, if not more, conceited than this, and not fully controllable.

Lets take a stereotypical Mother. To make clear which aspect of the Mother I speak, I speak of the overwhelming feelings of guilt in which they all suffer and the overwhelming feelings of guilt in which they dump on their children.--- I must interrupt myself to add in the disclaimer that I am quite aware that I don't actually know what it feels like to be a mother so if I insult any mothers out there, I apologize in advance, I hope to have your job one day --- I am going to tie these two paragraphs together to tell you that a theme I found in the film (I am ruining nothing I swear) is the same one I am speaking of...Guilt. Guilt in it's own right can be a conceited feeling (I know I have mentioned what a guilt ridden person I McPie is); I am not talking about the guilt you feel when you accidentally run over your neighbor's 18 year old cat and can't sleep.....ever again, I am talking about the idea "what have I done to deserve this" (example of feeling guilt) and "how come you never to tell me what is going on in your life, you tell all your siblings, but I ask and you poo poo me, you must think I am an awful mother" (example of pouring on the guilt).

The example I mention in feeling guilt assumes that we have enough power to actually change the course of the universe, and everyone in it, so that it comes back around, returns its focus to us (if in fact it ever left) and causes suffering. So in my humble opinion, if and when you catch yourself saying "what have I done to deserve this" keep in mind, the chances are you did nothing and really are you that conceited? See just like that the guilt should be gone (I will let you know tomorrow if I was able to sleep tonight because of all the guilt I am already feeling about all the people I possibly just offended).

I paused for a while before writing this paragraph and on because I couldn't figure out how to bring all these thoughts together (a very common occurrence in my brain) and I think I may have figured it out....a little bit. I left out the Mother guilt that occurs the most, the guilt that Mother's feel when their kid skins a knee, or doesn't like what's for dinner, or instills a curfew. Maybe Mothers have to have enormous feelings of guilt because without it, how would they know how important it is to let their children skin their knees, or force them to eat their vegetables, and to stand firmly on the word "no" even when they know it will cause a major rebellion (my rebellion involved hanging out with some ridiculously tortured souls...and trying to fix them....shocker). If doing something wrong doesn't make one feel guilty than why try so hard to do things right. Maybe the guilt I constantly feel isn't as conceited as I think, maybe I am having life-before-motherhood guilt, thus another piece of evidence in my destiny to be a mother.

P.S. I realize I said nothing about the second Mother example I gave on types of guilt, I just think it's hilarious that my mother says "poo poo me"...I laugh so hard inside that I completely forget that I am supposed to be feeling bad about something.

Mother McPie

I am told that I, McPie, was speaking full sentences (run-on I am sure) and tying my shoes at nine months old. And it was then, at nine months old, that everyone started saying that one day I would rule the world. Hello all you parents out there, that is a hell of a lot of pressure to put on a kid. I was born and bread to be in charge, I was born to be a mother. So as I sit here staring at my all-over-the-place resume and I read down the list of all these professions where I was in charge, I wonder....what am I supposed to do before It's my turn to be a mother?

The thing is, it IS about being a mother for me......(current best friends and various ex-boyfriends can attest to this). The one thing I have ALWAYS wanted to be is a mother. So even when I was saying "when I grow up, I want to be a photographer" (I thought that meant secretary when I was little, and no, it wasn't the other way around) the kind of "photographer" I wanted to be was the kind that had lots of papers to move around on a desk, and I would move those papers around before and after picking my kids up from school, bathing them, and cooking them dinner. And to clarify where I got the impression that this is what a "photographer" did, I have a vivid memory of my mother moving papers around on a desk, probably bills, I should also mention that at the time, my mother was a professional photographer (the kind that actually takes photos)...and thus my toddler confusion. Having children was what I dreamed about while producing films and while marketing a day school. It's what I think about now when I try and get some client to purchase more cakes than last time, would I feed my own children these cakes? (in this case, the answer happens to be yes, I am morally opposed to hocking a product I don't fully believe in. I have been told I stand too firmly on my moral high ground.....many stories to back this up).

Knowing what I have always wanted to do with my life doesn't help in figuring out what to do right now. And please know, I haven't ever left a job that wasn't leaving me so to speak...I don't seek the ranks of career dissatisfaction hastily (did I mention I am obscenely wordy?).

At this very instant I have an unbearable urge to go do something for Mr. McPie while he isn't looking.....like unload the dishwasher. :-) hasta