A Serious McPie

Mr. McPie and I just saw A SERIOUS MAN, i'm not sure that I will let on what I felt about it, but it made me think...shocking I know. I have said before how strange I think it is to feel both conceited and self conscious while blogging and then I watch a movie like this and I think of other things that people (I McPie) do that are just as, if not more, conceited than this, and not fully controllable.

Lets take a stereotypical Mother. To make clear which aspect of the Mother I speak, I speak of the overwhelming feelings of guilt in which they all suffer and the overwhelming feelings of guilt in which they dump on their children.--- I must interrupt myself to add in the disclaimer that I am quite aware that I don't actually know what it feels like to be a mother so if I insult any mothers out there, I apologize in advance, I hope to have your job one day --- I am going to tie these two paragraphs together to tell you that a theme I found in the film (I am ruining nothing I swear) is the same one I am speaking of...Guilt. Guilt in it's own right can be a conceited feeling (I know I have mentioned what a guilt ridden person I McPie is); I am not talking about the guilt you feel when you accidentally run over your neighbor's 18 year old cat and can't sleep.....ever again, I am talking about the idea "what have I done to deserve this" (example of feeling guilt) and "how come you never to tell me what is going on in your life, you tell all your siblings, but I ask and you poo poo me, you must think I am an awful mother" (example of pouring on the guilt).

The example I mention in feeling guilt assumes that we have enough power to actually change the course of the universe, and everyone in it, so that it comes back around, returns its focus to us (if in fact it ever left) and causes suffering. So in my humble opinion, if and when you catch yourself saying "what have I done to deserve this" keep in mind, the chances are you did nothing and really are you that conceited? See just like that the guilt should be gone (I will let you know tomorrow if I was able to sleep tonight because of all the guilt I am already feeling about all the people I possibly just offended).

I paused for a while before writing this paragraph and on because I couldn't figure out how to bring all these thoughts together (a very common occurrence in my brain) and I think I may have figured it out....a little bit. I left out the Mother guilt that occurs the most, the guilt that Mother's feel when their kid skins a knee, or doesn't like what's for dinner, or instills a curfew. Maybe Mothers have to have enormous feelings of guilt because without it, how would they know how important it is to let their children skin their knees, or force them to eat their vegetables, and to stand firmly on the word "no" even when they know it will cause a major rebellion (my rebellion involved hanging out with some ridiculously tortured souls...and trying to fix them....shocker). If doing something wrong doesn't make one feel guilty than why try so hard to do things right. Maybe the guilt I constantly feel isn't as conceited as I think, maybe I am having life-before-motherhood guilt, thus another piece of evidence in my destiny to be a mother.

P.S. I realize I said nothing about the second Mother example I gave on types of guilt, I just think it's hilarious that my mother says "poo poo me"...I laugh so hard inside that I completely forget that I am supposed to be feeling bad about something.