McPie Plays Limbo

So it occurs to me that I have no idea how to take care of myself.  I have constantly, throughout my life found other people and things to take care of.  I am not trying to make myself sound selfless here, I am stating a severe flaw that has hindered me and is currently hindering my ability to figure out what is next for me.  Now I am learning that this is an incredibly important thing to know how to do and I am also learning that it isn't something that people can teach you as the methods are unique to each person.  Some people tell me to get up get up get up, keep moving through it, don't let bad feelings get you down after all they are feelings and they are temporary (this is the method I have been practicing since I took my clean slate and ran with it).  Other people tell me that I should just chill out for a minute, stay in bed, lick my wounds, feel the fear and move through it when I am ready, after all, you wouldn't tell someone with a broken leg to get up and walk would you? (thanks Mrs. Junior for that analogy, I said it three times yesterday).

The truth is that I have two serious emotions battling it out inside of me and its a bit nauseating.  My head knows how exciting all these possibilities could be, but I have always followed my heart and it is scared out of it's pants (my heart wears cowgirl pants in case anyone is wondering).  So everyday, I wake up not knowing if my heart is going to win or my head will take the lead.  It may seem like something I should have more control over but really this world is filled with things that remind me of other things, and these other things often remind me of the fact that I have detached myself from all responsibilities, given up any semblance of stability to find new things (If I find a pot of gold, I will share I promise!), so even if the day starts out strong, it can turn into a mess fest without any warning.  It's a strange feeling to feel like you have so much and absolutely nothing all at the same time and that's where I am....in limbo I guess (happens to be a gorgeous place in the mountains, how lucky am I!).

Anyhow, there is a Karate Kid Marathon on today and I feel obligated to watch it....talk about fighting your way to the top when the world (cobra kai) is keeping you down. NO MERCY!!!

p.s. I have argued with people over whether or not Daniel LaRusso was hot.....um yes he was.